Cycles

I've heard it said that peoples moods run in cycles. Some peoples cycles are farther apart and others are closer together. Well, it's been six days since I've felt down. So, maybe I'm on the six day emotional cycle. Meaning I'm a moody bitch. I can't put my finger on exactly what it is that is making me feel down.

Party!

This evening my husband and I have a gala to attend. This is not something we would normally be invited to. But, due to my husband's charitable work, he's being honored. So, we have to go. I'm excited for him, and I'm excited to go. I think it will be good for us, since we both have a tendency to feel awkward in social situations. I only wish my husband was excited too.

Ughhhh!

I'm fucking down. Maybe it was those four beers I chugged last night, or maybe it's because some of the people in my life are bringing me down. How do you avoid loved ones? Family is such a fucking conundrum. They make your life and then they make it a living hell. I was not raised to be loyal, so I married the most loyal man I could find. None of it was conscious, it's all in hindsight that I see why I married who I married. I'm always turning to him for the answers. The "right" thing to do. Lately, it seems like that cup has run dry, and that I have to find the answers myself. It is very difficult to do the right thing, when the other people involved are unable to do the same. Ughhhh.... I'm going to just suck it up and then let it go.